Installments based lives can be difficult to live, but that is what people should vouch for.
Imagine buying a small house property in Western Mumbai. I asked to just imagine and not actually buy! What is the best way you can? To pay in full or in installments? Even a child can crack this one. Obviously, through installments! Unless you are so rich you don’t know what to do with that extra chunk of cash in hand. But why do we defer? Or in a more apt way, what do we defer? We postpone the whole burden hanging round our neck to later years. No, I am not teaching any financial arrangements here. I am just curious about how can we use this concept when plan to live installments based lives!
It all began (the madness to seek), when recently I had a dream that I died in an accident. The next morning I woke up and found myself all soaked in perspiration and it took me a while to digest that it was just a dream. But more than that what could not sink in was that what if it would be true one day?! My mouth fell wide open. Was I scared of death? If yes, then why? We all know death is the ultimate truth then why was I petrified at the thought of it? And as I scrutinized it through the whole day loitering in the whole house, (my mom kept shouting that I had not done anything productive the whole day, phew! if only she knew.), I came to a conclusion. It was because I had not lived to the fullest in the years that I lived. If I were to die tomorrow, I would still have the guilt of not living a content life before I was knocked out. The same droning installments based lives routine and then looking forward to the weekend movie plan. This cannot be my life I thought! I realized if I will have to stop taking life for granted!! At this point I realize, I am using these words-.death and die, numerous times that I can actually hear ssshh…!! from the readers. But it’s a fact and just by uttering or not uttering the words things are not going to change. But living installments based lives acceptance definitely throw my life into a different dimension.
I took a deep breath and firstly, accepted (truly) that I am mortal and I didn’t have infinite time in this world to do all I wanted to. So, if I wanted to learn singing, or lawn tennis, or cycling with friends, or start a new business, or spend time with the special kids, there is no tomorrow. I have to get up and start doing! As I further dug into it (as per my habit), I listed down endless things that I wanted to do in my life. The list was all set in about half an hour. But then there was a problem. I didn’t know till when should I finish them. We usually work on deadlines. Be it project submission, delivery of orders, writing an exam and many other. Without installments based lives deadline we feel we have all the time to complete that task and with experience, I knew many of the things on my list will remain unchecked. It may not sound so good but it was the only way I could have done it. I drew a deadline.
I decided I had only six months to live and to do whatever I wanted to. I named this concept as Live In Installments. When there is a target, the body and mind works fiercely to finish the tasks in hand within the time. We have conditioned our mind that we are immortal, even when at the back of our mind we know that we will die someday. But somehow we love to live in a pleasant lie than a bitter truth. But what if you die the next moment in an accident? No, I am not a pessimist. All I want to say is that you set a date for your death. As I did for my installments based lives.
I could immediately feel the difference when living in installments! The next morning when I woke up and went jogging, I appreciated the heat, the air, the flowers, and people, everything, with an undying and unforced smile on my face. It didn’t take much of time to understand why. Till yesterday, I might be cribbing about the heat. But as I further thought, I knew I will not be able to feel the same sun after six months! That made me cherish it till its last beam. As I was on my way back, I witnessed a clash between the car owner and the milkman. The irate car owner was beating the milkman as the latter had accidentally scratched the car by its side. Surprisingly, I was still smiling. I could hear myself sighing to that car owner- ‘Dude, will it still matter if you have just six months in hand?’
Likewise, a whole lot of unnecessary things are thrown out of our system and we focus only on the things that actually matter knowing that we are here for only brief span. Instead of the stupid fights, you could spend the time joyously with your own self and your loved ones because you don’t take life for granted any more. How does it matter if you earn a bit less then, or your boss is angry with you, or you failed, or you didn’t buy that particular Skoda or BMW, because anyways you will have to leave everything and go! You will not overburden your life with worrying about the future after six months. You will learn to live with the flow and take things as it comes. This way the burden of future is postponed and you can live fully in the present. (Compare it with the home loan installment in the beginning of the article). By living fully here doesn’t mean to become a spendthrift, or to have an access to alcohol, drugs etc. OK. I guess I lost some of my readers here. Anyways life continues.
Your life will blossom. You will embrace everything that comes your way which might not always be your choice, but you will learn to live efficiently. And most importantly will stop being cranky about things or people or climate etc. So in this concise time you can love completely, give completely, work fully, and celebrate every moment! Your feet will automatically dance to the music running in your ears. Your lips will sing that song that you never thought you would. You will live a real life than living online. Instead of playing games on the screen, you will play it on the field and learn to lose a match gracefully too. You will find that you don’t have any time to gossip now or even sleep for that matter.
Life will be much bigger than that big home, that fancy car, expensive dinners, movies, etc. You would want to experience everything that you can in this short span. It will be less materialistic now. The sad thing is that we realize all this only at the death bed! But now, you will be more willing to help others in need and wish to leave a legacy behind which will stay alive even after you have vanished. Yes it’s not just said and done. It needs practice to change the way we look at life. But if you realize it sooner, the better, so that you start things early.
I came across a beautiful piece, “you start dying slowly”-by Pablo Neruda, which I really would like to share with you all:-
If you do not read, if you do not listen,
To the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.
You start dying slowly
When you kill your self esteem;
When you do not let others help you.
You start dying slowly
If you become a slave
Of your habits,
Walking everyday on
The same paths….
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colors
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.
You start dying slowly.
If you avoid to feel passion,
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast
You start dying slowly.
If you do not change your life
when you are not satisfied with your job,
or with your love,
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,
If you do not go after a dream,
If you do not allow yourself,
At least once in your lifetime
To run away,
You start dying slowly.
Well, life is a gift which should be returned back but not before you have exploited every bone and tissue of your body to the best possible. So set your expiry date yourself. Live as if nobody is watching. (Except the law, I mean.) And if you cross it- then it’s a bonus. You got six more months for installments based lives!
And if you don’t, well you will at least die with content and grace by living installments based lives.
And here I strike off one more item from my list- My own blog !!
Your time starts now….Tick…tick….tick…!!
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